My Story: Student Kiki Drew on Coming Out and the Value of Community

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This June we recognize Pride Month by inviting members of our campus community to share their coming out story, how their identity empowers them and ways they are involved in the LGBTQ+ community. In this issue we connected with Kiki Drew (they/them/elle), a third year majoring in theatre and minoring in critical gender studies.

My name is Kiki Drew and I identify as nonbinary, specifically as transmasculine (which means I feel a connection to masculinity without necessarily identifying as a man). For my sexuality, I identify as queer and polyamorous, because I love who I love and want to be with those that I love. Simple as that.

I recognized my own identity multiple times—not because it changed from one thing to another but because I had realizations that led me into finally figuring out who I truly am. Looking back, I’ve had many moments throughout childhood that were noticeably queer (queer being used as an umbrella term for LGBTQIA+).

In middle and high school, I thought that I was bisexual and a demi-girl (which is a gender identity describing someone who partially identifies as a woman or girl). As soon as I came into college, I was able to explore more parts of my identity and become fully realized. I shared my identities with friends as soon as I was comfortable and was mostly met with acceptance and joy.

When it came to my family, it took me a little longer. Their expectations had instilled a fear into me that made me cling onto femininity for a long time. I came out to my mom first and it didn’t go so well, but she eventually came around and now sends me rainbow posts, pins and products.

Soon after I came out to my mom, I came out to the rest of my family, and they were also pretty accepting but it still took some time despite there being one other queer person that came before me. I’m glad that I came out first from my generation in the family because it made the rest of my younger family members feel comfortable to be their true selves.

Education as a path to understanding and love

I am very involved with the LGBTQIA+ community at UC San Diego. As the Hiroshi Endowed Intern for Social Justice Peer Education at the LGBT Resource Center, I learn about various things affecting my community and create events to hold discussions and inform people. I also hold space for my community when running the main building of our resource center, because this place is a safe and comfortable space for us all.

I’m also a newly recruited member of the student organization called Queer Trans People of Color (QTPOC) and am hoping to become more active next year. I’ve already started talking about ideas for programs and workshops!

Being involved is important to me because there is still work to be done. For instance, many states within the U.S. have been trying to pass anti-trans legislation that directly and negatively impacts transgender youth. Many are in danger because of transphobia and homophobia, so we must continue to fight for justice by spreading awareness, protesting, boycotting, signing petitions and whatever else we can do for our community.

As we celebrate Pride this June and July, I love seeing so many people like me in the same place being vibrant and celebrating themselves how they see fit. I haven’t gone to any Pride celebrations, but it’s still an important event because it allows people to come together in a place where they know they are the majority.

I continue living my life as I do—unapologetically queer and BIPOC. My message for other LGBTQ+ people who have yet to share their identity with others is: continue to fight; continue to take care of yourself; and continue to keep yourself safe. There is a community here for you to give you love and support. There will always be a community here for you. You may feel alone, but we are here. Stay strong and stay safe.