Communicating with Compassion: A Student’s Perspective

Two years ago, my best friend recommended the book “Nonviolent Communication” by Marshall Rosenberg. I loved its approach and potential applications. Fast forward to last quarter, I saw a listing for the Non-Violent and Compassionate Communication Workshop Series through UC San Diego’s International Services and Engagement Office (ISEO). I was excited to see the non-violent communication material again and to join a community of people using it.

Understanding Non-Violent Communication

Non-violent communication consists of making observations, identifying people’s feelings in a situation, recognizing the needs of the people involved and making a request. Throughout the eight-week workshop series, we broke down the elements of non-violent communication and used personal anecdotes to practice the framework and empathize with ourselves and our peers. We met weekly at the ISEO and each of the eight weeks was focused on a different element of non-violent communication.

Practicing these skills as a whole group and in smaller breakouts allowed us to delve more deeply into the framework. We didn’t have any homework besides applying non-violent communication where applicable. Each week’s session was very interactive. While there were moments when the instructor described the terms and non-violent framework, the sessions were way more interactive than a typical lecture. A lot of the time was spent in breakout groups practicing the skills, such as listening and offering empathy.

The instructor, Azzam Talhami, is very knowledgeable, understanding, deliberate and thoughtful in how he speaks. A certified non-violent communication trainer, he taught us using the non-violent communication framework. It came across that compassion and enhancing well-being were his priorities, and it was clear he has a lot of experience implementing and teaching non-violent communication. He taught the material well and beyond that, he embodied the teachings.

The Power of Empathy

One of my biggest takeaways from the program is that we all have needs, but the strategies for fulfilling our needs can be problematic. Being able to identify our own needs and other people's needs makes understanding situations and resolving conflicts much easier. Before the program, I knew the power and significance of empathy. But this program made me realize it is even more vital than I thought.

I am also now better able to differentiate between judgments and observations when assessing and understanding a situation. Focusing on the facts of a situation rather than a personal evaluation of it or the people involved can reduce misunderstanding.

Aside from my personal interest in this material, it’s also relevant to my future career plans. I’m an anthropology major with a concentration in climate change and human solutions and hope to live abroad, pursue a master’s degree and work in environmental conservation. As a member of Marshall College, I’m involved with the Marshall Justice and Equity Fellowship and the Future Innovators Program, both activities that I know will benefit from my participation in this program.

With my major in anthropology and focus on climate change mitigation, non-violent communication will help me understand people and their motivations better. I will probably work with the public in my future career and being able to connect with people using non-violent communication will be helpful. With the effects of climate change (heat waves, natural disasters, displacement, etc.), being able to offer empathy effectively will be important. I also think the skillset non-violent communication offers will make me a better team member for group projects and community service efforts.

I am really grateful to have participated in this program. It’s improved how I relate to myself, my friends, my family and my larger community. I recommend this program to everyone. Bringing intentionality and empathy into how we communicate can make a very big difference in the quality of our lives and those around us.

This program is supported in part by a Tritons Belong grant from the UC San Diego Office of the Vice Chancellor for Equity, Diversity, and Inclusion (VC EDI Office). Any views or opinions expressed in this program are solely those of the speaker(s) and/or organizer(s) and do not necessarily represent those of the VC EDI Office.